Mathew McConaughey GhettoBrizzles Airlie Beach

Mathew McConaughey is an amazing feat of nature. Not only has he managed to forge a fairly moderate level of fame with a name that nobody for the life of them can spell off the top of their heads…

Taken from google:

‘I love Mathew Mcconaghey…’,
‘Mathew McGonaughey is a versatile actor who…’
‘Mathew McConauhey and Sarah Jessica Parker…’
‘….Mathew McConahey from the popular movie Sahara’

BUT he also incorporates the Stanislavski acting method to all parts of his daily life. Whether he’s playing the bongos or eating a massive engorged hot dog on Airlie Beach (where he’s filming ‘Fools Gold’). You can see the intensity on his face and you can almost hear the voice in his head saying ‘Don’t just EAT the hot dog, FEEL the hot dog...Now, how does this hot dog MAKE ME FEEL about it? How does the hot dog FEEL about ME?’

The other great thing about Mathew Mccgonauhey is that if he hadn’t been sporting the jewellery of his manbag Lance Armstrong and his Axl Rose bandana people would’ve just mistaken him for a cast-out from the Magnum’s Backpacker Resort. But as a celebrity you have to kind of create a recognisable identity for yourself. Nicole Richie has laxatives, Rosie O’ Donnell has fat and MccGonaughey has the sleeveless wife-beater.

We say thanks to the friend-of-a-friend who took this photo. To the untrained eye it could be Matt anywhere but we know its Airlie because in the background it looks like some German backpacker is trying to defend herself from the drunken attentions of a shirtless hippie.

Be careful you don't get rolled for your Reeboks

Spotted along Brunswick St late last Friday, we totally know how these guys felt when they woke up.

Sometimes when travelling overseas, you open your suitcase and you get overwhelmed by all the Hawaiian shirts and basketball shorts that you end up channelling all the sexiest style food groups.

We too have been known to leave the house carrying Lance Armstrong’s water bottle, wearing some Yankee sailor’s shorts, Elvis Presley's Aloha shirt, our Japanese tourist camera seductively slung over one shoulder (or is that a shoulder strapped coin purse?) and pose like Lindsay Lohan when people take our photo.

But then again, maybe they’re locals. Brunswick is a big street and you’re gonna need to be prepared for the long walk between your room at the boarding house project association and The Shamrock.

The Courier Mail: the paper for 'The Smart State'

While we were resizing this gem of Ghettobrizbayne talent we started blacking out their eyes so they could at least hold on to a fragment of dignity after The Courier Mail published these nuggets of pure ghetto gold. Then realised, we don’t have to because these people actually not only put their names but their FACES to these quotes and gave their permission for publication around the entire state and even some confused northern NSW towns.

The two Kathryn’s both agree that yeah, climate change kind of blows.

The old one is surprisingly worried about the old people (‘We need to look to the future and how we can look after the old people’). Which in Baby Boomer talk means 'we need to get the young people to look into how they're going to keep us in the manner in which we've become accustomed'.

Way to get us in this mess guys– nice hat by the way but folded rims were so mid nineties. You live in freekin Clayfield anyway; when the oceans rise they ain’t gonna get anywhere near Forest Place retirement castle.

But people, if you’re anywhere near Toowong Village…We're sorry, you’re stuffed.

Nick Griffiths who listed his age as 26 – perhaps in cocker spaniel years – hasn’t really thought about global warming a lot since ‘it’s not going to happen for years yet’ and by the looks of him we think he’ll be long gone in ten years – which is when the altruistic Al Gore says things might start getting a little toasty slash rainy anyway. Nice one, Nick. See you in hell.

But change is apparently A-okay with Daisey (with an ‘e’) Tondori who thinks we should all turn those frowns upside-down and start looking at the positives of global warming.

‘At the moment it’s really hot and maybe if it rains a bit more, that will be great”.

Right on Daisey, sing it sister! Hey, why don’t you fly over to New Orleans and tell all those whinging lower class people to stop crying, stealing things and raping each other and start dancing in the street? Or even lead them in a chorus of Travis’s ‘Why Does It Always Rain on Me?’

Or Tom Petty’s ‘Louisiana Rain’?

Or Albert Hammond’s ‘It Never Rains in Southern California’?

But DEFINITELY

Milli Vanilli’s ‘Blame It on the Rain’.